How Sharing Honestly With the Right Person In Step 5 Helps


Thought for today:

Being honest takes a deliberate effort.  We need to acknowledge our inner thoughts and share them transparently with another human being.

Step Five asks us to bring the lessons learned from the Fourth Step into our relationship with another human being, with our Higher Power, and with ourselves.  The relationship between all three shines through as we take this step.

DA Step 5

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

A member shares:

“I was nervous about sharing my story with another person in the fellowship, but after looking at my shortcomings for a while, I realized I needed to share with someone who would understand.

“After I listed all my shortcomings and assets on a sheet of paper, I started to really see how I was contributing to my misery.  When I was in the wrong, as I often was, I saw my selfishness stand in my way of getting better.

“Even when I was the victim of someone else’s behavior, there was something I could have done differently to ease my suffering.  I could pray for them, meditate, take care of myself, try to detach.  Innumerable possibilities arise when I seek them out.

“When I shared my Fifth Step, I felt connected with the fellowship of DA more than ever.  I don’t know why I was avoiding it for so long.”

Picking the right person

Fear of debting is a valid reason for taking this Step.  When we are around DA long enough, we  begin to see that unless a person takes the Fifth Step, they will likely debt again.

Many of us pick our sponsor or a trusted spiritual advisor to share our Fifth Step with.  The person we pick should be discreet.  They need to know something of what we are trying to carry out by such rigorous self-honesty.  We are trying to transform into a person that doesn’t need to debt.

When we share our inventory with another, coincidentally, we feel closer to our Higher Power, and more comfortable in our own skin.  There is a special connection when two in DA come together to share on this level.


“Have I been honest with another human being?”

Meditation for today:

It takes time for the lotus to flower as it travels from the bottom of a pond to the surface.  In the process, it discovers light, and approaches it. In the same way, when we feel loved and share in our humanity, we want more.  We cannot ever exhaust the supply of love.

Affirmation for today:

“Just for this day, I will face my life with courage.  With the help of DA and my Higher Power, I have what I need to live through whatever this day brings.” *

* From DA’s “Just For This Day” bookmark – literature P-129.

Recommended reading:  

See our Fourth Step Template which helps us to take a fearless moral inventory.

For a detailed analysis of all the steps, read Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

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