How to Deal With Our Feelings From Step 5

The path

Thought for today:

Step 5 talks about a mysterious barrier between us and the people we meet.  We debtors delude those around us almost as much as we delude ourselves.

DA Step 5:

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

When we finally took an inventory of ourselves, some of us were left feeling guilt, and dramatized or exaggerated our shortcomings.  Others of us felt anger or hurt pride, and commenced hiding out defects. Indulging either of these extremes keeps us from really looking at ourselves.

It helps to remember that humility – being near to the earth, grounded – is the goal of all the Steps.  With an inventory, humility means avoiding guilt and pride altogether.  Bypassing these, we find ourselves in the middle ground.

A member shares:

“When I took my Fifth Step I discovered how isolated I was.  I had spent so much time worrying about debts that I had forgotten what it was like to converse with someone or go to a movie.

“My recovery started when I stopped debting and started seeking self-honesty, and giving away my Fifth Step with my sponsor was the ‘beginning of the end of isolation’.”

The triangle: Me – HP – Another

We need another person to take this step with, because it affirms our willingness to share with our Higher power.

It’s easy to say to the universe, I’ll be honest.  It’s another thing entirely to concretely be willing to talk with another person about our difficulties and admit our part in them.  Sharing with a person this way becomes proof that we are willing to be honest with our Higher Power.

So we need this human feedback from a spiritual advisor. Clear guidance from someone who has been through it.

We pick someone who has been through similar problems and come out the other side.  We might be afraid to meet with them to take our Fifth Step, but we use every bit of our will power to share with them, withholding nothing.


Am I willing to let go of fear and share who I am?

Meditation for today:

The path to happiness is humility.  When we seek humility, we find peace, because the turmoil is gone.  There is no need to prove ourselves because we know we have value.  There is no anger because we know we have forgiveness.  We have patience because we know we are a human family.  There is love to spare, because it is limitless.

Affirmation for today:

“Just for this day, I will be grateful for the abundance in my life.”*

*From “Just for This Day“,  DA literature P-129.

Recommended reading: 

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

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