How to Detach from Difficult Personalities

Letting Go

Thought for today:

We need to detach emotionally from the “trolls” of business and of  life.  We stop engaging emotionally with chronic or mischievous complainers.  We lower our expectations for cooperation from them, which reduces conflicting emotions.  This allows us to focus instead on our customers and friends.

BDA Tool #10:

“We detach from difficult personalities and poor paying clients and put principles before personalities.”

A member shares:

“I deal with the public, and sometimes there are challenges.  Detachment is a tool I draw on when a situation surprises me and has me emotionally reacting.  It buys me time to include my Higher Power.”

Finding a balance:

We take care not to overdo detachment or engagement.  We wouldn’t want to disengage from life entirely, and hide.  Eventually we “intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us”.  We find clarity and perspective.


Have I found the right balance of detachment in my life for me? Do I have healthy boundaries?

Meditation for Today:

We should not be like the “lone wolf” separated from its pack, who is unlikely to connect with a new pack, and will eventually starve.  Instead, when we feel disconnected from others, we should seek the “Divine Communicator” who can interpret our needs to others. With our Higher Power, we will know when to hold our words and when to let go and ask for help.  We will find our answers.

Affirmation for Today:

I am a social being. I am cultivating friendships. I know who not to trust, and who is trustworthy. Most of all, I trust myself to act in my own best interest. Together we build a network of trust.

Recommended Reading:

A Currency of Hope

Helpful links on

See our Fourth Step Template which helps us to take a fearless moral inventory.

Some members, with the help of their Pressure Relief Group, take a moratorium from debt payments in order to get their spending under control.  See this Debt Moratorium sample letter to creditors for one example.

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