Thought for today:
Having set up our spending categories, and tracked our numbers for a few weeks, the next step to simple pressure relief in DA is to put together a realistic spending plan that puts our needs first. To do this we schedule a Pressure Relief Meeting (PRM) during which we will share with our Pressure Relief Group (PRG) our categories for income, spending, saving and debt repayment.
What is a Pressure Relief Group?
A PRG group is composed of two people in recovery for compulsive debting and who have not incurred unsecured debt for at least 90 days. Most people prefer picking a man and a woman, but any two members is fine. The important thing is that we are willing to share our recent money history with them, and that they seem to understand where we are coming from, and that their lives are improving.
A member shares:
“At first, I though ‘What, divulge my finances to strangers?’ Nobody in my family had ever done that before. What am I risking? I soon realized that I need not be concerned.
“First, I considered the desperate times that led me to seek out a sane approach to managing my debts. I would be willing to do anything to get better, and here, DA was offering me clarity – all for free!
“Then I thought about how everyone else in DA has experienced that same feelings as me. My sponsor reminded me that everyone at a meeting ‘blows their cover’ as a debtor when they walk into the rooms’. I was among friends.
“Finally, there was no security risk. I didn’t have to show account numbers or other personally identifiable information. If I wanted to get better, I just needed willingness to share where my money was coming from and where it was going to, and get feedback.
“So I picked two people I had seen over time at meetings and that I could identify with and had begun to trust. I asked them if they could take part, and they agreed.
“Everyone appreciates a person being considerate, so made sure to call or text them the night before to confirm the appointment as a courtesy. I also made sure I had three copies of my numbers printed out for us, and that I arrived on time.
“When the meeting finally came, I felt as though I was on the way to lasting solvency. Having a PRM is a great tool for someone like me, who needs a friendly, human connection to feel safe enough to set up a spending plan that makes sense for me.”
Dealing with nerves:
Feelings will come up as we prepare for and go through our first PRM. Some of us feel tears well up, overcome with emotion from years of vagueness. Clarity can have that effect.
There is no shame in any feelings that come up during our first PRG or our hundredth. We just show up, and if we begin to feel overwhelmed while preparing or during the meeting, we try to remember that our PRG group has been in a similar situation before, and that sharing our numbers is a major part of our (and their) spiritual recovery.
What would life be like if I could talk freely about my spending and my income with people who had been in a similar situation?
Meditation for today:
Consider writing your vision for your life. Gather and compile all the details and then step back, and sift out trends. Patterns will emerge after calm, reflective times, sharing your insights with trusted friends. That is the time to reason out a course of action, where reason lives.
Affirmation for today:
“Today I will take one small step to try to define my mission and my vision in life.
“I live my vision one day at a time.”
“I can define my life-vision, putting my needs ahead of creditors.”
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