April 9, “Putting Our Needs First” Includes Our Need for Relationships

Thought for today:
The Fifth Tool of DA  is about creating a spending plan that puts our needs first.  It doesn’t guarantee that our needs will always be met; it simply implies that our money will be allocated according to our needs as opposed to the needs of our creditors.
This principle can apply to all of our plans, not just our spending plan.   People need more than money.  They need sociability, relationships –  “No man is an island”.
It can be difficult for the debtor who has put debt and overspending ahead of everything to start including family and friendships in their lives.  True, relationships can be difficult for everyone.  BVt we debtors typically compound the problem  when we don’t show that we care, or if we outright criticize others out of our own compulsion to be perfect in some trivial matter.
Being naturally sensitive people, there is a tendency to overreact to the behavior of other people.  They of course rebel, which leads tour  further isolation.
Our needs invariably involve other people,  and we need to think about more than just “our needs” in order to make relationships work.  Doing that means we are truly taking care of “our needs”.

DA Tool Five: Spending Plan

“The spending plan puts our needs first and gives us clarity and balance in our spending. It includes categories for income, spending, debt payment, and savings (to help us build cash reserves, however humble). The income plan helps us focus on increasing our income. The debt payment category guides us in making realistic payment arrangements without depriving ourselves. Savings can include prudent reserve, retirement, and special purchases.”

Are my relationships with people built on honestly caring about their needs as well?  Am I taking anyone for granted, including myself?
Meditation for today:
Think of this: What is it that you really need?  If you had all the possessions of the world, would you be truly happy?  Or is it really something else – friendship, “carefree timelessness” with people you love – that matters most?
Is it time for quiet reflection with yourself and your Higher Power?  Is it time to  give of yourself in fellowship and service?
Ask yourself these things, and devote time to what you feel will truly make you complete.  Meditating on these questions will help you allow more happiness into your life.
Affirmation for today:
I will let my friends know that I care about them.
Prayer for today:
I pray to remember that I am not alone.  I pray that I stay grateful for my fellowship friends – people with whom I can share about anything that is going on in my life.

Further Reading:

First publication by the Debtors Anonymous 12 Step Fellowship. It describes the basics of the D.A. recovery program and includes 38 success stories of D.A. members. It offers experience, strength, and hope to help other compulsive debtors and all those who want to stop incurring unsecured debt, such as credit cards, unsecured loans, personal loans, unpaid taxes, and more.
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