Why We Put “Our Needs First”

...we tried to carry this message to compulsive debtors, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Thought for today:

Being in debt is a temporary situation, but some debtors think it is the end of the world.  They can’t buy food or electricity because they need to make payments to creditors.

Why do we put creditors needs first?  Because we neglect reality.  We forget that we exist.  Only the object of our obsession – our debt – exists.

DA Tool 5: Spending Plan

The spending plan puts our needs first and gives us clarity and balance in our spending. It includes categories for income, spending, debt payment, and savings (to help us build cash reserves, however humble). The income plan helps us focus on increasing our income. The debt payment category guides us in making realistic payment arrangements without depriving ourselves. Savings can include prudent reserve, retirement, and special purchases.

A member shares:

“I was living for my credit card payments.  Nothing else mattered but having the ‘perfect credit score’.  I had six credit cards, each maxed out and becoming overdue.  I wanted to get rid of them, but the home refinancing option was no longer available.  I had used it too many times, and the banks were getting more restrictive.  I needed something serious to change course.

“That’s when I came into DA.  I started tracking my numbers and eventually had a PRG meeting, where my DA friends noticed that although the kids and I needed shoes, I was paying the banks first.

“My people in DA gently encouraged me to take care of myself better.  It was almost impossible, but it was also inevitable that I was going to be late making my payments.  I was making partial payments, which was hitting my credit score anyway.

“‘Don’t worry about your credit score now.  Take care of your family,’ was what they told me.  I still remember feeling shocked and free at the same time.  I never regretted following their suggestion.”

The compulsive debtor’s paradox

When faced with the choice to either eat or pay a creditor, an actively debting compulsive debtor will agonize over the decision.  “How can I do both?  Is it possible to survive on noodles alone?”

Why?  It’s partly from low self-esteem.  We’ve decided to accept what other people think as the law of our life.  We’ve surrendered our life and will to a creditor, enslaved by debt.

There is a way out.  We can challenge our low self-worth by doing good things for ourselves.  We can use affirmations that reenforce a desire for spirituality and peace.

It is a paradox that as we change our attitude about our debt – as we loosen our obsession to suffer over it – we become more prosperous.  Money seems to come in when we least expect it.  Over time, we replace our compulsion to pay with a calm, consistent payment plan that put our needs first.

It doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen.  All we need do is identify (with help from other members of DA) what our needs are again if we have forgotten them, and to put our needs first.

We need always keep our debts in perspective.  Our primary responsibility is to care for ourselves.  Once we do that, the world, and our debt payment plans, fall into place.

Ask:

Am I putting my needs first?

Meditation for today:

Prosperity flows into our lives like water seeks its own level.  As we make space for abundance, clearing out the emotional and physical clutter we were holding on to, we allow this fluid to flow.   We feel healthier, and are happier when we make space for abundance.  It is a joy to envision this new space for prosperity to enter.

Affirmations for today:

“I am receiving plenty of money, in harmony with my values.”

Recommended reading: 

How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt, and Live Prosperously*: Based on the Proven Principles and Techniques of Debtors Anonymous

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