May 3, Admitting the Exact Nature of Our Wrongs (Step #5)

Thought for today:

“Restless, irritable, and discontent” were normal feelings for many of us before DA.  What we did was lash out and blame everyone around us, including those closest to us.

We argued with our spouse about money.  We blamed the kids for being kids.  Our employer wasn’t paying enough.  Luck had us down.

Then, finding DA, we proceeded through the Twelve Steps, and started to see this misery was optional.  Self-pity didn’t have to be a way of life.  We could do what others had done when they said “We admitted we were powerless of debt, that our lives had become unmanageable” (Step One).  We “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity” (Step Two).  We could “Turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him” (Step Three).   We “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves” (Step Four).

Now, we were at a point where we needed to digest what we have learned.

Step Five:

Admitted to God, ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Processing our moral inventory:

If we did our inventory well, we will have taken a fairly accurate snapshot of our lives and noticed common threads in all our relationships.  Self-centeredness surfaced throughout the inventory, and we saw how it  kept us trapped.

When we were angry, we were able to realize that it was rooted in fear of loss.  We recognized that it hurt everyone around us, especially those closest to us.

Pride kept us in denial when we needed to ask for help.  Lust for more “things” prolonged our compulsive debting.

Envious  of others, we resented our lives.  We were slothful in some areas, greedy and gluttonous in others.  We over-indulged, or were anorexic, the flip-side of gluttony, and did  not even spend to take care of basic needs.

We usually thought we had good motives for being miserly or self-righteous.  We battled injustice, so we thought.

We couldn’t be free until we accepted that other people weren’t always the cause of our misery.  Even if we had been treated unjustly in the past, we had to admit that, walled in self-pity and isolation far too long, we prolonged the agony.  It was important to grieve our losses so we could move on.

We also had many good qualities that we needed to remember.  We could treat others well, and do good work.  We were able to show and receive love.

In our inventory we took stock of our good and bad qualities, and in Step Five we decided what we no longer needed to hold on to.  We became free to live our lives unencumbered by resentment, frustration and despair.  These were optional, and we chose to live without them, one day at a time.


Have I learned the truth about my motives in Step Five?  Have I accepted who I am?

Meditation for today:

There is no shame in being imperfect.  There is only shame is in not admitting it.

All great achievements are always built on past mistakes.  There is no waste, as long as you learn and apply what you learn.

It is humbling to know the truth about yourself.  But it  is possible to do great things once we accept this truth, and get out of our own way.  In doing so, we let the creative process have voice.

Affirmation for today:

“I accept myself as I am.”

“I am beautiful in my own unique way.”

“I will set a firm boundary when I need one, and nurture my spirit with beauty and love.”

“I do not need to take part in insanity today, whether mine or someone else’s.”

Prayer for today:

“I pray to seek humility, appreciate beauty, speak truth, and love unconditionally.”

Follow Through:

For in-depth step work…

For personal effectiveness…

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