Reflections On Resentments

Reflections

Thought for today:

Resentment is the re-feeling of old wounds – and it was our #1 problem.  It made us feel justified in lashing out at an unjust world in anger.

A personal share:

“Before Step Four, old resentments, fears and pride about my money issues ran my life. As a result, I often hurt those closest to me, and my loved ones paid the price for my debting.

“After taking the Fourth Step, the truth was obvious. I saw how my behaviors were ruining my life. I was angry and needed to learn to practice restraint.

“I realized that sometimes I under-reacted where I needed more vigilance.  For example, my record keeping was sloppy, and I wouldn’t pay my bills on time.

“Sometimes I over-reacted and needed more patience, like when I would rage and blame others for my financial misfortunes.  That had to stop.  No one inflicted debt on me but me.

“Gossiping, guilt trips, lashing out and attacking had been a part of my life for a long time, but were no longer worth it.  Now, armed with a program for dealing with the disease of debting, I saw that I needed to relearn how to live.”

Sometimes we need to replace old behaviors with the virtues of patience, love, tolerance, and wisdom. We need to take certain Steps in DA to get our lives back, including reaching out to another human being and sharing our story in Step Five.  This is the way to get on track to an abundant life.

Ask:

Am I willing to do whatever it takes to turn my life power and my will power over to a new way of thinking, even if it makes me feel vulnerable? Do I realize I am not alone in my financial and spiritual recovery?

Meditation for today:

Resentment, fear, and anger no longer need run our lives. We can use “Intellect over Emotions”(1), or “I over E”, instead.  We can accept our level of recovery right where we are today, at this moment.

Affirmation for today:

“Today I will look at my past and learn from it. I will choose to live a happy recovery. I will find something to be grateful for.  If tempted toward self-pity, resentment, self-righteousness, and any other defect, I will use the Step to become a better version of myself.”

Recommended:

A Currency of Hope

(1) From Father Martin “Chalk Talk” Alcoholics Anonymous Discussion

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