April 2, “Why Do I Overreact to Criticism During My Performance Review?”

Thought for today:

A member shares:

“The other day I got my annual review at work.  I was angry going into it because I knew the drill.  They always start with positive feedback, but then throw in negatives. In my cynicism I think they do it so they don’t have to promote me.

“During the review, I felt my boss was throwing me under the bus – that I couldn’t trust him to convey the work I do to management. I blew up at the first criticism, and started hyperventilating.  Then she talked about wanting me to take over a new position, but I felt slighted that it wasn’t the one I wanted.

“I told my boss that I needed to take a break from the meeting, that I wasn’t feeling well.  The truth is that I had to walk it off around the building a dozen times.

“That night I shared my review with my sponsor.  She must have conspired with my boss, because she pointed out the good points of the review.

“Looking back on the day, I realized I had lost my judgement.  I had overreacted, and I had to apologize.  

“It took years to build that trust back with my boss.  Now I drop my expectations going into a review or any meeting, and I just listen to what my employer has to say.  I bring my own notes to talk about as well.  

“I can always follow up at a later time if I have any thoughts after sitting with the news.  But it’s much harder to take back words once you’ve said them.”

Have you ever overreacted to criticism?  Hurt pride tells you, “How dare this person question me?  Don’t they know what I’ve been through?”

In times like these we need  to “Live and let live”, and “Easy Does It”.  Not everyone will agree with us, nor do they have to, but we can still have a quality day.

Do I realize that people have opinions that are perfectly valid given their circumstances?

Meditation for today:

The more time spent actively freeing the mind of worry and focusing on what can be changed, the better off the spirit and the life will be.  As we turn our will and our lives over to God, God sets the stage for our growth.

Affirmation for today:

I will let today’s energies and influences work their way without my obsessive control. Instead, I will let God create today without requiring my absolute control.

Prayer for today:

I pray for acceptance of God’s will in my life.

Reading for managers:

2600 Phrases for Effective Performance Reviews: Ready-to-Use Words and Phrases That Really Get Results

No managerial or administrative task is as universally dreaded as the performance review. Supervisors may know the points they need to get across, but putting them on paper is another matter. This book puts the right words at their fingertips, with ready-to-use phrases and words, action items, and descriptions that managers, supervisors, and HR professionals can use to evaluate performance, prepare development plans, and address performance problems. 2600 Phrases for Effective Performance Reviews: Ready-to-Use Words and Phrases That Really Get Results covers the 25 most commonly rated factors, including productivity, time management, decision-making, and teamwork, as well as specific roles such as customer service, finance, sales, and more. The book provides hundreds of phrases to use in performance improvement plans, plus an appendix of helpful individual words.

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