Thought for today:

A member shares on Step 4: “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

“When I was ready to take Step Four I made the list just like in the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, chapter 5), using five columns: ‘Who’, ‘What’, ‘Affects My’, ‘Exact Nature of My Wrongs’, and ‘Opposite’. I completed one column at a time before moving on to the next one.

“So under ‘Who’, I listed all the people I resented, and there were a lot. This surprised me, because I didn’t think I was an angry person. After I listed all the names , I went back and in the ‘What’ column next to each name, I described what happened. Abusive creditors, family members judging me for my debting, especially if I owed them money. Injuries I felt I had suffered.

“I moved on to the ‘Affects My’ column, entering each of my hurt injuries – to my self-esteem, financial security, sex relations, social standing, my pride.

“In the ‘Exact Nature of My Wrongs’ column I put down  the seven deadly sins as they applied. (I used the acronym ‘PALES-GG’ to remember them – Pride, Anger, Lust, Envy, Sloth, Greed, Gluttony.)  I also put (Fear) next to the ones I could trace back to fear, and there were a lot of them.

“The Opposite column was easy. Behaviors I wish I had done instead went there.

“In the end, I felt enlightened. While some people had wronged me, usually I was repeating “defects of character” with different people – a case of ‘different faces, same situation’. I was the common element, and I finally knew it.”

Question to Reflect On:

Instead of being a victim, might I have actually been an active participant in my disease?  Am I willing to take action in my recovery today?

Meditation for Today:

We sometimes speak or write in ways we later regret, and we hurt ourselves as much as anyone else when that happens. “Restraint of pen and tongue” is a great motto for avoiding that hurt.

Affirmation for Today:

I can withstand the truth. I face it directly.  I honestly seek out ways to improve my character. After all, I am in this program so I can improve my life. Why not correct course when necessary?

Prayer for Today:

May the awareness I get from the fourth step help improve my life. May I never have to go back to my old ways of thinking that got me into debt, fear and despair.  May I find your way, which is surely better than mine.

Further Reading:

DA Tool Eight encourages us to read AA literature, and a great place to start is with the AA Big Book “Alcoholics Anonymous”.  Filled with dozens of hopeful stories of recovery, it explains the Twelve Steps like no other book.

(By clicking these book links you will be brought to Amazon.com.  If you decide to buy, Amazon gives us a commission.  Using these book links in no way increases your cost.  It helps us defray the costs of running this website.  Please do not use credit to buy.)