One member reflected on the one-month moratorium  he had arranged with his creditors, in writing, and the process of transforming these relationships:

“During that first month in D.A. I detoxed from the negative effects of compulsive debt, overspending, and worry.  I needed the month to heal.  I had my hands full just not debting one day at a time.  I couldn’t even talk about my situation with fellow members without breaking down and crying, raging, or feeling like running out of the room.

My sponsor slowly taught me that I would get stronger with the help of the fellowship.  Eventually I would be ready to call my creditors.

I learned that my perspective may not always be grounded in reality, and that I need an impartial friend to bookend with before and after making difficult decisions.  My sponsor took me through the 12 steps , where I discussed what hurts, why, and what I can do to heal.  The healing is slow, but it always comes when I work the program with integrity and to the best of my ability.”

 Meditation for Today:

If I need to have a courageous conversation* today with someone, I have the tools to set the possibility for mutual healing.  First, I know in my gut when I need to look at my feelings.  I can walk through a personal inventory of the issue with my sponsor.  I can rehearse with someone in recovery, and review the results after the call is over.  Sponsors can help us consider the other person’s point of view.

Affirmation for Today:

In all my difficult interactions with people I can use the acronym “T.H.I.N.K.”, asking myself whether the words I am about to use are thoughtful, honest, intelligent, necessary, and kind.  The toughest part of this is “kindness”.  Everyone responds better to kindness than bitterness.  If I smile before I pick up the phone, it shows in my voice.

Prayer for Today:

Take away my haughtiness.  Teach me to consider others and be thoughtful.  Make me prudently honest in my dealings.  Make me intelligent enough to know what’s next.  Help me weigh my words, so I can focus on what is necessary and leave the rest aside.  Help me to smile, and to start courageous conversations with kindness and love.

Recommended Reading: 

” How to Get Out Of Debt, Stay Out of Debt, and Live Prosperously”, by Jerrold Mundis, is a comprehensive guide to getting “Back to the Black”, using the concepts of debtors anonymous.  Many have benefited from Jerrold’s thoughtful encouragement, especially in dealing with creditors, increasing income and reversing under earning.

(By clicking the link above you will be brought to Amazon.com, where you can buy this book.  Using the link in no way increases your costs..  Using the link helps us defray the costs of running this website, as Amazon gives us a commission.)

 

• Courageous Conversations(tm) is a program trademarked by Ellen Cooperperson(ellen@cooperperson.com).