Thought for today: When we were debting, life seemed like a race we were always losing. We made decisions about money emotionally, out of fear, lust, jealousy, or big-shotism. At a restaurant, volunteering: “Let me get that bill – it’s on me!”. At the store: “I’ve got to have that ______!” When loaning a friend money: “Don’t worry […]
Continue reading →Thought for today: Money is neither good nor bad. It just is. It’s a tool – a means to an end. Nothing more. It’s people who attach anxiety to it. Money doesn’t think. Signpost #7 (of compulsive debting) “Living in chaos and drama around money: Using one credit card to pay another; bouncing checks; always having a […]
Continue reading →Thought for today: Credit cards are a dubious luxury of “normal people” – but they aren’t an essential ingredient for being “grown up”! A member shares: “The credit card companies make these incredibly attractive terms to get us started, and it feels like magic! Out of nowhere, money is there for anything we want” ” Flashy advertisements, accumulating points […]
Continue reading →Thought for today: One debtor shared about shopping addiction: “When I shop it’s like the gates of heaven open up! Total escape! Then the voices in my head say, ‘If other people can use credit cards, why not me? “My husband is also in DA recovery. While going through his wallet one day, I saw a store card and […]
Continue reading →Thought for today: They say that in business you must manage expectations. “Under promise, over deliver” is the popular mantra. Expectations set us up for disappointment. Resentments are based on them – a fiction we expect! It’s obvious, right? We expect that the people we love will be responsible, only to agonize when they wreck a […]
Continue reading →Thought for today: When we were new to DA we were usually preoccupied with our financial situation, and rightly so. We were obsessed with how to solve our debts, how to stave off the endless fees, fines, and other consequences of debting. After we got some time in the program, we started to get perspective. We could […]
Continue reading →Thought for today: Anger is the “dubious luxury” of normal people. Often anger can get out of proportion and lead us to overreact. Whenever we get angry we have the Twelve Steps to guide us to safety. We learn to process the root fear that torments us into lashing out. We learn to refrain from causing further damage […]
Continue reading →Thought for today: “Restless, irritable, and discontent” were normal feelings for many of us before DA. What we did was lash out and blame everyone around us, including those closest to us. We argued with our spouse about money. We blamed the kids for being kids. Our employer wasn’t paying enough. Luck had us down. […]
Continue reading →Thought for today: Before DA, many of us neglected ourselves. Depressed and isolated, we simply gave up the basic things “normal people” did automatically. A member shares: “I struggled to show up for work on time and put in an honest day’s work. I had so much emotional pain before even getting up in the morning. […]
Continue reading →Thought for today: The most important truth for us compulsive debtors to accept about ourselves is that we have a disease. Compulsive debting is as real as any other disease – progressive and debilitating. Left untreated it can lead to physical and mental deprivation, depression and death. Step One: We admitted we were powerless over […]
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