Thought for today:
One debtor shared about shopping addiction:
“When I shop it’s like the gates of heaven open up! Total escape! Then the voices in my head say, ‘If other people can use credit cards, why not me?
“My husband is also in DA recovery. While going through his wallet one day, I saw a store card and thought, ‘Well, isn’t that interesting! It must be ok to have one of these…’
“Later, I went to that same store, and when the checkout person recommended I open a card for a steep discount, my eyes lit up!
“When the bill came, it was so large, I couldn’t physically draw a deep breath, I was so shocked. I had emotionally blacked out, and I was afraid.
“What the clerk had given me was a store credit card, not a debit card. My husband’s card was linked to our checking account, but mine was linked to the thin air of easy insecure credit!
“I realized I had been anxious about another family member who suffers from alcoholism, and I was looking for an escape from that worry without realizing it. Had I been living in the moment, instead of worrying about the past and projecting about the future, I would have read and questioned the fine print.
“Thankfully, the returns were easily made. I hope that was my last episode with unsecured debt.”
“Restless, irritable and discontented”:
Flawed thinking got us into DA. “Restless, irritable and discontented” (as the Doctors Opinion in the AA Big Book* states), we were unsatisfied with the world, and we took the shortcut of unsecured debt. We soon regretted it.
We found it nearly impossible to get out of debt once we were in it. Fear then made us scramble to get out of debt, which was followed by confused thinking, a lack of vigilance toward credit card companies, and the inevitable downward spiral.
Never did we stop to question our fears. We didn’t question what was being offered to us and what our options were. Something didn’t feel right, but incredibly, we went with it anyway!
And why were we afraid? Were we neglecting loved ones and acting out because we were no longer enjoying life? Were we scared of losing something – money, a job, a loved one? Or were we scared of not getting something – those great clothes, a promotion, enough money, enough recognition?
We needed to see how our fear spurred many other “defects of character“. We needed to humbly ask for help. We needed to find the opposite of fear: a personal faith in a Higher Power, and a fellowship of people who had been there before us.
Am I letting the DA fellowship replace my fear with faith and fellowship?
Meditation for today:
When you catch yourself dissatisfied, seeking for more, remember to take a moment to appreciate what you have. Have gratitude. Gentle expressions of caring turn souls into friends. Enjoy people and possessions,.
Everyone has gifts to share. Sharing with others is a source of joy.
Affirmations for today:
“I am open to receive my perfect abundance – massive amounts of money, great accomplishments, and expansive love.”
“Today I am finding the ‘sweet spot’ where I can contribute to and enjoy life.”
Follow through:
* Alcoholics Anonymous: The Big Book, 4th Edition
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