“Just When I Think I Have All The Answers, They Change The Questions!”

Thought for today:

Humility is something to b e sought after, if we are ever going to get over compulsive spending, debting, and underearning.

A member shares:

“Divorced when I came into DA, I had to pay half my income in alimony and child support.  But the toughest part of the divorce was that my kids didn’t want to speak to me any more – my spouse had turned them against me.

“It was true that I had done a lot of bad things while married, and I wasn’t proud of that.  I had lied, stolen, cheated, and, going emotionally down the tubes during a bankruptcy, I put those kids through hell.

“In meetings, I felt lower than dirt, and was beating myself up, as if it would pay for my wrongdoings.  I had lost everything, I thought.

“Listening to people share their experiences at meetings, I eventually heard what sounded like my story.  It was then that I realized that I wasn’t unique; I was just a garden-variety debtor who had hit bottom – at least I hope that was my bottom!

“I had never listened to people with such intensity before.  Before, people owed me, and I made sure to take what I thought was my share back – sometimes ruthlessly – and this retribution always backfired.

“For me the DA program became one of ‘ego deflation in depth’.  I needed to get very small to get a relationship with some of my kids back, and to get my finances back on track.”

“My problem all along was that I thought I had all the answers – but then someone changed the questions on me!  In desperation, forced to my knees, I asked myself ‘Who was I, to think that I was the center of the universe?'”


Do I accept that, when it comes to the effects of debting, I’m not unique, and I have a lot to learn from the program?

Meditation for today:

We should seek humility.  If we ever want to find the healthy middle ground between arrogance and guilt, we must seek the middle way. We must realize we are no better, no worse, than others, just human, looking for peace.

Affirmation for today:

“Today I will consider one loss from my past as if it were a gain, for I am surely better off for having survived it.”

“I have the strength to take  all “growth experiences” as they come,  to realize that they don’t have to crush my spirit, and that I can adapt to the ever-changing reality around me.”

As Bill Sees It: The AA Way of Life …Selected Writings of the AA’s Co-Founder

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