My Best Thinking Got Me To DA

Thought for today:

The main problem with compulsive debtors is our minds. Our fear makes us irrationally overspend, under earn, and sabotage our own efforts to get out of debt.  Then we get angry at ourselves over how much of a mess we’ve made things.  The only way out seems to be more debting and the oblivion it offers.

It’s hard for us to try something new, to come to DA for help.  Pride keeps us from admitting we have a problem. Sometimes we need to be confronted by others who care, like family, therapist or clergy.  If we are lucky, we will realize there is a problem and join the program of recovery.

A member shared:

“My best thinking got me to DA.  When I first came in, I was a devastated person, with huge debt and a chip on my shoulder.

“They told me I needed a sponsor so I picked a person because they seemed to know the program well and also seemed calm.  I had too much anxiety to bear a high strung sponsor.

“My sponsor tried to help me with my attitude.  They led me through the Twelve Steps, even though I resisted ever one of them.  Such as my denial   My debting was everyone else’s problem, not mine.

“The only reason I took step four was because my sponsor told me I would debt again if I didn’t.  Fear was my greatest motivator.

“Then I learned I learned through the Steps that fear was at the root of all my defects of character.  I was afraid of losing money, afraid of creditors and afraid of growing old and lonely.

“People had always let me down.  It isolated me and I had become bitter and resentful.   After all I had been through (especially the harassment from bill collectors and their lawyers), I felt I deserved better.

“Looking at all my resentments and worries, one idea came shining through: the one thing in common with all those situations was me.  I was the common denominator!

“Most of my fears were of my own making.  I was an active participant in my disease. My thinking was the problem.  My best thinking got me here to DA!”

Ask:

Am I aware of reason for my resentments and worries?

 Meditation for today:

A man who was formerly a thief went shopping one night, to find a grocery store opened late.

He tried to get into the store through what turned out to be a locked entrance, so went around to the other entrance and complained to the grocery store manager. The manager explained that one of the entrances had to be locked after 9 PM.

The manager apologized, saying “I’m very sorry sir; some people would steal merchandise and run out of that door because it was close to the street. Locking it was the only way to avoid being robbed.”

The man realized there was nothing he could say.

Affirmation for today:

“I am a spiritual being having a physical experience.”
“Humility softens my attitude.”

A Currency of Hope: The basic text of Debtors Anonymous.

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