Making Direct Amends

Thought for today:

Recovery starts by taking care of ourselves again.  It branches out from a place of self-care.  That’s why a repayment plan can’t come first.

We need to find our inner truth first.  We need to know what our income and expenses are for a month.

A member shares:

“My sponsor shortened my list of amends after we talked about it.  I had added people out of guilt, because I was so ashamed of my life.

“My first real amends were to myself, when I joined DA.  My family and I benefited right away from me working the DA program, making meetings, tracking my expenses, having Pressure Relief Meetings.

“I continued making amends by calling my creditors to make repayment arrangements.  This was simple because I had listed their phone numbers in my Eighth Step list, and the amounts I owed.

“There were some difficult conversations with people I had stopped talking with but owed money to.  Before reaching out to them, I had to make sure I was in fit spiritual condition.  I had to be willing to be rejected by people who had written me off.  But they were all willing to be repaid, and that was what I had to do to start healing.”

“Today I can hold my head high.  I don;t have to hide from anyone because I owe them money.  I am part of the well-being of my family again.  The Ninth Step, along with my Spending Plan and my Action Plan helped me make amends to myself.”

DA Step 9:

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.


Healing the damage takes time.  Time with ourselves and our families, to decide what our needs really are.  We need to spend time with those we love.  Amends can really take hold if we have reached this level of awareness.

This doesn’t mean that we delay making amends that are necessary.  It means that we need to spend a month to gather our numbers, have a Pressure meeting, and make the Spending Plan and Action Plan that works for us.  Something we can stick with.

Making our amends to those we have harmed is a healing thing.  As long as no one gets harmed  in the process.  We wouldn’t want to pay our creditors and neglect our parental responsibilities.


Am I starting to make responsible amends?

Meditation for today:

When we give, we receive self-healing. Our self-esteem grows by each esteem-able actions.  Generosity, within our means, expresses our gratitude, bringing full circle the healing circuit of love.

Affirmation for today:

“As I give to the world, so the world will give back to me.”

Recommended reading: 

DA’s Eighth Tool is D.A. and A.A. Literature: “We study the literature of Debtors Anonymous and of Alcoholics Anonymous to strengthen our understanding of compulsive disease and of recovery from compulsive debting.”

Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

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