Thought for today:
If we are new to DA, we will want to get right into the program of recovery and give DA a chance to help us. There are a few things we can benefit from knowing right away, as we approach this new way of thinking about money.
A member shares:
“When I first came into DA, I was an angry, confused person. I felt I was a victim of circumstances. Nobody understood me.
“My DA group, my sponsor and my Pressure Group all helped me see that there was hope. They helped me get a new perspective. I started to build a new relationship with money, and a new self-esteem.”
What should newcomers know?
- Compulsive debting is a disease: Members of DA admit we are powerless over debt. In this area of life, we exhibited no control. We learned that the disease concept made sense. We saw that we had an increased tolerance to debt over time. We had an inordinate feeling of euphoria when debting, only to have remorse soon after. Our thinking and our instinct for survival were so distorted that our minds put up defense mechanisms which preserved our debting behaviors.
- It doesn’t matter why we debt: We don’t know why some people become compulsive debtors, underearners or over spenders, while others don’t. But it doesn’t matter. What’s important is that we can arrest the disease with DA. If we have the symptoms, we can apply the treatment others with the same problem have used, and get better.
- Debtors can help each other: DA members can help identify that peculiar twist of mind that precipitates a slip into debting. We have been there.
- Keeping an open mind, we find help: Some of what we hear at meetings will feel strange and unfamiliar. Keeping an open mind, we can listen to the track record of other members, and see how their thinking changed and they got better.
- We don’t have to follow all the suggestions of the fellowship at once: We take what we need, and leave the rest. Over time, many of us find relief from a new way of thinking about money and debt that at first seemed impossible. Some ideas take a while to make sense.
- We are more than the total of our bank balances: Our self-esteem no longer hinges on how much debt we have. We learn to “live within our means, without our means defining us“. We learn to ask for what we need.
- We can live without credit cards: Credit cards are not essential to living a productive life, even if you are a professional or business owner. Many of us prefer to pay with cash and money orders only, but some use debit cards and checks, which represent our cash, for online and other purchases. Anything that can be purchased with a credit card can be purchased with a debit card.
- We can get new clarity about our money: The program of DA includes Tools and Steps of us to learn how to get and stay solvent.
- The quick fix is not always the best solution: Before going to a credit counselor, we first work the DA program and have a Pressure Meeting to review our debts and spending habits. DA has no opinion on credit counselors or lawyers, but many of us have found we didn’t need their help to arrive at the best solution to our debts.
- In time, we can even negotiate with creditors ourselves: Many of us have made payment arrangements that made sense and took care of our needs first. We expressed a willingness to pay the debt when we had the money, but we avoided committing to a payment schedule we couldn’t possibly honor.
Ask:
Am I willing to get help when I need it?
Meditation for today:
The story goes that a traveler found themselves lost in a dark cave one day. The entranceway they entered through had collapsed behind them under an avalanche of rock, and was impassable.
Family and friends were outside the cave, and hearing the noise, panicked. They called out to a nearby hiker, familiar with the caves, who knew an alternate route.
Acting quickly, the hiker entered the cave with a flashlight, calling to the traveler. The traveler heard the hiker, and together, they escaped the cave.
Personal experience works when all else fails.
Affirmations for today:
“I am finding the answers I need.”
Recommended reading:
DA’s Eighth Tool is D.A. and A.A. Literature: “We study the literature of Debtors Anonymous and of Alcoholics Anonymous to strengthen our understanding of compulsive disease and of recovery from compulsive debting.”
The Best Of Bill
Copyright 2015, PlentyOfTimeMoneyAndLove.com.
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