Thought for today:
If we make meetings for a while, we will eventually see people come and go. Some of them will come back years later, with more debt than ever. Others may never come back. Why is that?
Reason #1: Debtors Anonymous isn’t a place to window shop for financial advice.
It’s different from anything else. DA’s not going to give a person a “quick fix“. It can only help them resolve their unspeakable agony over their debts if they are willing to adopt a new way of thinking about time, money, and love.
A member shares:
“When I see people come to meetings and leave, I have to remember how I left DA after I paid off all my debts. I thought there was no reason to continue. But years later I came back with much more debt than I had ever had before.
“I remember almost no one I knew earlier from the program was still there. We debtors can be difficult people to get along with, and a lot of people find it too painful to deal with their compulsions to debt.
“We need each other.”
Reason #2: It’s hard work.
The work to let go of our pride is hard. Old timers in DA remember how hard it was to start using the program – the difficult choice to admit powerlessness over compulsive debting. They remember discovering daily reflections and wrestling with the idea to believe a power greater than themselves could help them become solvent one day at a time. They remember how laborious it felt at first to write down their numbers in a tiny booklet, to track their expenses and income, the first concrete act of their willingness to surrender. They remember the fear of “book-ending” with other members, making those ferociously difficult phone calls with creditors. They recall all this, and it reminds them that making meetings was the essential ingredient for change beyond their wildest dreams.
Reason #3: Member complacency.
Once they pay all their debts, and their lives become ordered again, some members choose not stay in the fellowship to experience the full palette of wonderful experiences DA can afford them. The loss is theirs, and DAs. The miracles keep coming to those of us who have stayed, and meetings help us remember where we came from. Helping newcomers can reinforce our solvency too.
Ask:
“Am I passing on the program of recovery of DA to the newcomer? If I don’t do it, who will?“
Meditation for Today:
We each need to “speak our truth quietly”, in the midst of a pain-filled world. Many times we would like to make it easier for another person to get along. If we are the only DA member the newcomer has ever met, we need to choose our words with loving care. The rest will flow, if we rely on our Higher Power to run the show. If we falter, we only slightly delay our Higher Power’s plan.
Affirmations for Today:
In DA, I am both student and mentor. As I help others use the Steps and Tools of the fellowship, I take inventory of myself. I need to hear my words most. For this reason, the newcomer to DA is the most important person in the room.”
Recommended Reading:
See our Fourth Step Template which helps us to take a fearless moral inventory.
Some members, with the help of their Pressure Relief Group, take a moratorium from debt payments in order to get their spending under control. See this Debt Moratorium sample letter to creditors for one example.
If you are new to this blog, check out our overview of the program of recovery from compulsive debting. If you like this post, please click one of the like/share buttons on the site. If you would like to receive daily “Thoughts for today”, enter your email and a username in the subscription form at the top of this page. Some links on this page bring you to other sites. Clicking a book title or image brings you to information about purchasing it. If you buy something it will help support this blog with a small commission – which does not add to your cost!
Copyright 2016, PlentyOfTimeMoneyAndLove.com.
You must log in to post a comment.